Confused

I'm trying to figure out how someone can be so nice & so mean. So right yet so wrong all at the same time. I just can't figure it out...you do so many nice things...the little things that some people never get to experience. But the mean things you do...the things you do wrong are so much bigger than the small nice things. One day when you can do the big nice things I'm wondering if the big bad things are going to get bigger or will they just be on the same level to the point that they cancel each other out. I don't know what our future is anymore...sometimes I don't even know if we have one anymore. I'm in a somewhat neutral state of mind when it comes to us. So now I guess I'm just waiting to see what happens next.