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Ok so I don't know what's making me think of this but I'm sitting here getting very upset thinking about vamps. I'm like on the verge of tears & I keep trying to tell myself not to think about it until the time comes. Vamps will be leaving after New Years & I don't know what I'm going to do after he's gone. I'm trying my hardest not to think about it cause it only makes me cry but at times when I'm just doing everyday things I think about how different it's going to be without him & how much I'm going to miss him. I don't know how not to think about it, especially when it feels like we're running out of time. Like I've said a million times before I know this is the right thing to do & that it's for the best but still I am not looking forward to that day. For me this is one of the many signs of growing up, I just hope I can handle it.