IDK

He thinks I have this freakin dream of just like raising our kid all by myself but he doesn't know how much i just wish we could just be together, be happy again. How much I wish we could be a family or something. Just somehow make it better. I'm crying right now but it's not cause I feel like I lost him. It's cause I really hate that things turned out this way. I mean it's like we both agree it's for a reason but at the same time I hate that there's a reason at all. In a way I feel like I've lost my best friend && it just hurts. I wish we could just go back to April. I wish we could somehow go back && make time stand still. I also wish I knew how things were supposed to turn && if this is really the end of what we had. I wish I had the answers to all the questions in my mind && most of all I wish I could have just one more carefree night in his arms.