Definitely Unwelcome

I got my answer && trust me it was truly un-freakin-welcome...with the news from yesterday floating around in my head I can only focus on the trip Im taking tonight. The trip I mentioned that was suppose to start on Friday is starting tonight instead && it couldn't have come at a better time. I need to get the hell away from these people and fast as possible. Meaning I'm going to pack my bag. Throw on a t-shirt && jeans. TRY to fix my hair && go to work. Then once I get to my beloved job I'm going to do all my work within a 3 hour time slot so I can meet my mom at four && continue on with my day. *breathe* Gee. I can't wait for this day to be over.

*sigh*

Ok so I'm antsy....very very antsy. I went upstairs to wait for vampy but couldn't even sit still on the steps for more than a minute before I walked up to the corner, scanning the block as I walked. I stood on the corner waiting to see if he was in the store or on the way up the block before I realized that it hadn't even been ten minutes since the time of the text he sent me saying he was in the pizza shop. I figured there was no way he could be done already so I walked back to my job, came inside and started writing this blog. Tryna calm my nerves && talk myself down. I allowed myself to get excited about something I had no evidence of && for that I sit here semi suffering. I wanna know but at the same time since I did allow myself to get psyched about the maybes the definites seem like an unwelcome visitor.

ICWFF

Translation: I CAN'T WAIT FOR FRIDAY! lol. Why you ask? Because on friday night I'm suppose to be going on somewhat of a little vacation with vampy. We're gonna get a room so we can be completely alone. We're gonna watch tv && do my hair && well I'm gonna pig out. Of course we're gonna do all that x rated stuff but that's a given. =]. Best part is just to be able to lay with vampy with no interruptions and just sleep. Another trip away from reality.

Well

I am so freakin hungry right now. I got about an hour before I can get any food unless I actually go to the store before vamps shows up. Which I don't want to do. I guess I can use this time to decide what I'm actually gonna eat since right now all I'm thinking is chocolate and cake. Oh and ice cream. None of those are actually full and will probably make me sick if I combine them all together. Not to mention I need to eat more well balanced meals..... Ummm nothing comes to mind. =/ Oh well. In other news as of yesterday I was officially accepted to Mercy and will most likely be going there this Fall. I was hoping to be in the dorms at first but also wishing for an off campus apartment if I couldn't do dorms. Since it is close to the start of the term && I just only handed in my application on Friday I know my chances of being in the dorms are slim so I'm still hoping for the off campus apt. even though thats a far stretch as well but I'm still gonna try. By the end of the month I hope to have a job near my school and an idea of whats gonna happen with the housing situation since I know there's a chance I may not get the apt. I'm aware I may just be sitting at home until things turn around. One thing that did happen that I never thought would though. I'm not going to write about it till I'm 100 percent sure. Right now vamps is but I'm on like a 85 percent thing. I think I'm just a little skeptical of the situation so that's keeping me from jumping for joy and running to the doctor. *sigh* I need to hop aboard vampys train && just be happy. *big smiles* =D. Anyway I gotta get back to my work now...

Um Um

I'm bored && I want some more cookies from Maxwells =/ Depending on the time I get off I may just go down there && pick up some more. I'm gonna set aside 20 bucks just for cookies. Yea I know fatass but who the hell cares. I got like 50 more minutes before Vampy gets back to take me to lunch but from the looks of it, it may just rain either before or during my lunch which um yea would suck balls. Hot sweaty balls. lol. In other news as of um what was that Saturday? Yea I think it was Saturday so as of Saturday I've picked Mercy as my school of choice for September. Which is why on Friday I will not be at work, I will be on a bus with Vamps on my way to check on the housing situation. Ugh time is moving too effin slow dammit. *sigh* I'm gonna go find something to do.

Dammit

I'm getting cramps && I'm getting depressed all at the same time. Only one person would probably actually know why. Saturday is still 4 days away and Vampy still keeps saying that there's a chance. I don't know if he actually believes it or not. I, on the other hand, have pretty much just stopped getting my hopes up. Even though since I'm sitting here right now on the verge of tears each time I feel a cramp, I guess in the back of my mind I still hold on to the inkling of hope that my dreams aren't completely shattered.

Bleh

OMG my joints && muscles are killing me. I woke up this morning in screaming pain. I'm pose to meet up with vampy today at like 10 but now i think he's coming to my building so i guess ill just wait for him, My mom just said something to me that I found interesting. If I was to go to school here in the city but stay in the dorms. That never occurred to me before but now that I think about it that would be a great way to be near here but get the hell out of here. The only problem I have is the same with all dorms. I hate girls. [NOT all} Just most. They get on my effin nerves && I don't know if I could ever share a room with another one. Especially if they're anything like my sister was. SMH but the overall idea of the situation sounds like THE answer. If there ever was one. But now I'm rambling so I'm going to get dressed && think about this more later.

IDK

I've been up since 530 && at work since 9 this morning. I didn't get off until almost 8 today. This is the second time this week that I've done an 11 hour shift. Only this time I actually took my lunch break. Which is when I met up with Vampy who was upstate for a better part of the day. He came && met me just as I was walking back from the pizza shop. He's been feeling sick lately which I hate since it always make me worry. Today he felt sick but it was something easy to get over, until tonight when he started feeling weird. I hated leaving him just now but I had no choice. I wanted to take him home and lay him down in the bed so that I could take care of him but since I knew that was out of the question I would've settled for just sitting in the staircase all night with him so that I know that he's ok. *sigh* I've got counseling in the morning && I'm tired as hell but I don't wanna go to sleep even though I feel as though I can barely keep my eyes open for another second. It times like these that I hope that vamps is around long enough to raise his ninja clan. My heart is screaming that he'll be fine but my brain is thinking the worse. SMH. I don't know what else to say right now so I guess I'll just go.

What The Freak!

I swear I just did my laundry the other day and I feel like everything I washed is missing. Hell I feel like all my clothes are missing. I know anyone who has or would walk into my room would think I'm crazy for thinking I have no clothes since it's obvious that I have more clothes that I can do with but most of that stuff really just needs to be tossed cause i don't wear it anymore. I don't know if that's because I don't want to or the fact I just never think of it since it's all stowed away in my closet so I think of it as storage sometime...which isn't really the case I just have no where else to put it. Now the article of clothing in question for today was this grey cat in the hat shirt that I got a few weeks ago. No idea where that damn thing went since I swore I saw it just the other day unless my brain's scrambled. IDK. but the biggest mystery when it comes to my clothes && I'm not kidding with this is what the freak happen to my stewie shirt. I wore that shirt once && after that it disappeared for like a month. Found it washed it && before I could even wear it, the blasted thing was gone again. Few more weeks go by and it popped up somewhere. So same story wash it put it away. This time I actually got to wear it. Yay right. lol. But yea After the last time I washed it I haven't seen it. Which sucks since I kinda liked that shirt =[. With that being said, I'm going to go get dressed && hopefully meet vampy on time for once.

My Head Hurts

&& I'm tired. I wanna go home && lay with vampy for a while. Nothing extra just lay on his chest && listen to his heart beat...but oh well I can't so I guess I'll just do the next best thing. Hang out with him until its time for me to go home. As annoying as it is I just have to deal with that fact that home can't include him. Not anymore anyway && probably not for a while... =/
In other news my shift is officially over so all I have left to do is wait for vamps to come && meet me. Literally that's ALL I have to do since all the students are gone && I've done all my work for the day. La la la la la la. Checking through my myspace bored outta my mind. Yea that's usually sign number one of boredom. When I go on myspace...unless I have a set reason to like adding pictures or just changing the damn song that no one probably even listens to but now I'm just rambling cause no one cares. Hell I don't even care. I just wanna get the hell outta here. NO offense to anyone here at HL. Nothing personal just tired. *sigh* I was on collegeboard a little while ago trying to pick a school but I dont even know what criteria I'm searching for. I don't have the slightest clue as to what I want in a school or where I wanna go or if I even wanna go. I want pizza dammit. Pizza and ice cream...

=[

I just spilt coffee on my little white shirt =[. Yes I think we all agree that deserves a sad face. I guess that's what I get for tryna down it lol. Lucky for me it was cold && not fresh out the pot or this woulda been an angry message. Probably would've killed the buzz I had going for today and everything.

Ugh

I hate my room it's so freakin humid and sticky in here that it's not even funny. I walk into a nicely air conditioned room when I first walk through the front door and then after basking in the cool air I walk into the hot hell that is my room. The only time I'm not feeling icky is when I'm sitting directly in front of the fan. SMH Anyways apparently there's a nimrod on the floor above me banging something or hitting something. It sounds like he's nailing something which would make him...or her a serious lame considering the fact that its almost one in the morning && according to mommy dearest, he's been at it since 12 or something. If he messes with my sleep I'm kicking someone. Speaking of which I need sleep && lots of it...sadly I'll just have to deal with the six or less hours I will hopefully get tonight.

*Edit* P.S he's still going...I can't figure out for the life of me what the hell could he be doing. That annoying sound is going to drive me up a wall.

Three Days Late

4th of July was three days ago but this is the only time I felt like getting on here to write about it. Um so on Friday me && vamps went upstate to watch the fireworks in dobbs ferry or however the heck its spelled. We made a video of it but since I haven't actually sat back and made any still shots out of them I don't have any visuals to post. That's all for now hopefully by the end of the week I have something to show from that day.

SKIP THIS

Why does it always rain on the freaking 4th of july. I think this is like the third year in a row. Its been sunny all week and now outta nowhere it gets cloudy && cold-ish. 'm sitting here still kinda out of it from last night tryna get myself to wake up so I may ramble through this. I didn't actually plan on waking up until 11 but since vamps wants to meet at 11 I woke up at 8 just incase I fell back asleep again. I'm also doing research on stuff that only matters to me and watching the end of Sabrina. Thinking of what I'm going to wear. I guess this weather would explain why everyone was doing their fireworks yesterday though.

Ugh

So I got my summer job that I wanted to effin bad, I even got to work where I wanted but now that I'm sitting here bored, hungry && missing vampy all I have to say is...three more freaking hours. Sitting here I'm kinda thinking about what vamps and I was talking about yesterday when we was in the park. 101 different scenarios keep going through my head and I'm starting to get a headache from tryna figure out which one would really happen. Even though it's impossible to know.