Am I bitter?

That seems to be a question thats keeps floating around. Each time I feel my heart freeze over I think that maybe I am getting extremely close to it. I can't sit here and say that it doesn't bother me knowing that anything happy turns my stomach or that anything good that happens in my life is blocked out or replaced by a cynical thought or sarcastic comment. An outlash of anger or a inward slash of hate. I had a good day today...no scratch that I had a GREAT day today...I was myself...my happy go lucky self even the rudeness of my ex couldn't kill my buzz. It wasn't until an hour ago when I called my boyfriend, who btw has been MIA for oh say 3 days, that I felt my blood boil. I called him expecting to get his voicemail but shockingly received a real live person. Yay right?? Uh how about no...I get to talk to him for all of two minutes before he tell me that he's on the phone with someone so I have to call him back. Me being the genius I am actually hangs up before a wonderful thought crossed my mind. Who the hell is he talking to that is more important than me. Wanna know who comes to mind? His fucking baby mama. I'm thinking that's who had him occupied all week even though I have NO reason to believe this. I'm not liking this control he has over me. I'm hating the fact that I actually like him...I can't stand the fact that I've let myself actually feel for him. I know that this can only end in pain but I can't really see myself walking away. Not just yet anyway. Not until I have to. Even though I should go now before my feelings get hurt...that would be the wise choice the obvious choice. But no...my stupid ass is going to sit through this probably sick to my stomach for the most part, to only one day end up sitting in my room crying about how he screwed me over. Cynical thoughts raining down on a good thing maybe...but bitter? eh not just yet.