IDK

ok so iM feeling type shitty right now. Today had to be one of the if not the worst days of my life. Hell this week as just been so screwy. I keep going from this feeling of utter happiness and giddiness to wanting to walk right into traffic. I literally had to stop myself tonight as i stood on the corner feeling as if i was done for. My chest hurt and I just stood there crying watching the cars go by and writing a poem. It was as if it just all made sense. So I stood on the edge of the street in a moment that felt so surreal. All i saw was lights coming and going pass. I could see myself walking in front of them. My body heaved as i cried upset about everything and nothing. I couldn't get a grip of reality and it took everything in me to call someone. I was terrified of myself and my thoughts so i called the one person i knew that wouldn't make it worse. Now iM siiting here feeling like shit again. Why? Good question but i don't have the answer. Anyway thats all i had to say so iM out.