Stop It Already!!

A couple living together = Shacking Up
A couple spending time together = Moving to Fast
A couple about to have a baby = Marriage

This is what I hear when I'm talking to my mom. She's talking about marriage even though before to her me && vamps were moving too fast. She's telling me to get a place with him even though before she didn't approve of two people living together. Yes I'm very aware that when a couple either makes the choice to have a baby or ends up in the situation things are automatically going to change but at the same time since when does me having a baby mean I have to tie the knot a re write my life. I'm only 17 I don't want a baby to be the reason me && vamps marry. I don't care what anybody says when I get married I want it to be my choice. I want to do it when I want && with whom I want. It shouldn't be decided by anybody or anything. My mom only sees one thing she doesn't see the current situation that our relationship is in. We are in no way shape or form ready to get married && I don't know if I want to rush into permanent living with vamps. Even though we both wanted it at one time. Right now is not the damn time for any of that shit as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I'm wrong but right now I feel like this is the right way to do things.

Soo...

On Friday I have my first official ultrasound, since the last one occurred in the E.R so they couldn't really tell me anything about the baby other than that it was alive. Friday I'm supposed to get the heart rate && see if it's growing right && all that good stuff. I also figured that Friday would be a great day to break the news to my mom that there may be a new addition to our family. I figured that Friday after I see that everything is ok I'd tell her. I already told her that I needed to talk to her on Friday now I just have to make it through all my classes tomorrow && the appointment on Friday && somehow find a way to get these magic words to come out. I'm not gonna lie...I'm a tid bit nervous. =/

I Don't Know Anymore

I miss the days when all we did was laugh. I miss the days when the site of you made my heart skip a beat. I miss when just the thought of you smile. I wanna go back to the days before you caused me so much pain. I wanna go back to when I felt as if I was your world. I miss the time when I ran away with you. I miss the days when there was no reason to find something to do. I miss the you that was my escape from reality. I miss the way your kisses made me feel light. I miss your hugs. I miss you holding me while I sleep. I miss the way we use to play around. I miss our late night talks. I miss watching you without you knowing. I miss feeling protected. I miss my sense of security. I miss feeling loved. I miss being happy.

I Want Food

I had oatmeal for breakfast and cereal for lunch but I haven't really had a meal yet. I've been thinking about grits for most of the day and I was finally about to get them when I found out there's only one piece of cheese since my dad bought the wrong kind. *sigh* It's a good thing I'm too hungry to care.